Archive for April, 2008:
John McCain Eats Puppies
It is disturbing to know, that the man who once referred to mixed martial arts as “human cockfighting”, could stoop so low. It is indeed now a known fact that the senator (and possible future President of the United States) likes the taste of puppy flesh.
During a recent visit to Texas, while on the campaign trail, one of Senator McCain’s assistants was seen in line at a lunch truck and was overhead placing an order for the senator.
“A dog and fries please.”
Can you believe that? A dog and fries. What kind of sick piece of humanity are we dealing with here? “Combat sports should be banned”, but eating someone’s loving pet is acceptable?
Well, sorry senator. I’m going to watch UFC 83 tonight, and I hope someone stops you from consuming anymore canines.
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For less animal cruelty, go to humor-blogs.com.
Tags: campaign 2008, campaigning, dogs, funny, funny photo, funny photos, funny picture, funny pictures, humor, humour, john mccain, photos, photoshop, Politics, puppies, satire, spoof
Is Meme Tag More Like Touch Tag or The Body Spray?
Apparently, William from DeadRooster.com slapped me across the back of a head with a meme.
What’s a meme you ask? Apparently, Its the Internet’s version of Truth and Dare without the need to french kiss complete strangers. I really don’t understand this whole meme thing, as it sometimes feels like those e-mails you receive that tell you to forward it to 20 friends or else your penis will fall off. Due to the general nature of my being, I must break all the rules of meming.
Firstly, I don’t think most people really care to know who I am. Like WIlliam, only a small percentage of my viewers are bloggers. A noticeable perecentage seem to come across this site while looking for porn and other weird stuff.
Secondly, the people who I’d be most curious about have either already been tagged, or would likely tell me (in some creative manner) to “go make sweet love to myself”.
However, for the two of you who are really, really curious, here are eight unusual and funky facts about me.
1. When I go to McDonalds and the girl behind the counter is grumpy, I always insist on my free smile.
2. While I have seen a few Jinxs and Jinks’s online, I’m the one true Jinksy, since Jinks is my last name.
3. I often find that a very large wiener interferes with my typing (the puppy likes to be held, while I’m on the computer you perv).
4. I own a pair of roller-blades that I will never use, because I fell on my ass the first time I used them. And won’t sell them, because I’m stubborn enough to think I’ll try them again someday.
5. At work, when “St. Andrews” by Bedouin Soundclash comes on the radio, I will strut into the design room, do a little dance and walk out of the room.
6. When I worked at a call centre, I got all flustered when I was informed that the person I was asking for was the man’s dog. Who in the world gets mail in their dog’s name? Freaks! So, I now dislike people who get mail in their pet’s names.
7. Before I let my hair grow out, drunk people used to mistake me for Tom Green. I spent one night with a bunch of drunk university kids, and this kid introduced me to all his friends as Tom. (I honestly don’t see it)
8. My tongue can touch my nose.
So, now that I’ve officially killed this meme, I can await hate mail from the random Google searchers who found this while looking for “Tom Green Axe Body Spray Porn”.
Designing The Perfect Tramp Stamp
After looking through GorillaSushi’s recent post about Tattoos for Bloggers, I reflected on a post I made a few months ago about the Worst Tramp Stamp Ever. Then I thought about the social implications that are attached to the Tramp Stamp, and thought the normal curvy design being used was getting a bit out-dated. So here is my design. Please feel free to post your thoughts in the comments section below.
For more tramps and stamps, check out humor-blogs.com.
Tags: funny, funny photo, funny photos, funny pictures, humor, humour, photos, photoshop, tattoos, tramp stamp
Paris Hilton Found Drunk At Middle School
Not everyone can bring a famous person to their school’s Career Day, but Billy Marriott, 11, sure made waves when his guest arrived. The classroom at Radisson Middle School, in Culver City, CA was all abuzz when Billy introduced his infamous cousin, Paris Hilton. The always controversial Paris, was still noticeably intoxicated from her previous night’s debauchery, and apparently had not changed outfits from the night before. She was also brandishing two open bottles of Jack Daniels which she would occasionally take a drink from.
While most would have expected Ms. Hilton to talk about her modeling, acting or “singing” career, Paris proceeded to divulge graphic details about some “hottie” she was “shagging in the ladies’ room” the night before. Grade six teacher, Wendy Waldorf, 27, was appalled by Ms. Hilton’s inappropriate behavior, and had the school principal, Stephen Savoy, 31, escort the intoxicated celebutante out of the building.
According to reports, Ms. Hilton’s last known whereabouts was in the backseat of Mr. Savoy’s, 1994 Honda Civic. More details on this story as they arrive.
Tags: classroom, drunk, drunk girls, funny, funny photo, funny photos, funny picture, funny pictures, humor, humour, middle school, paris hilton, photos, photoshop, satire, spoof, tabloids
