Extremely Funny

With the increasing number of comic book superheroes, and other cartoon characters (Astroboy and Transformers for example) being turned into live-action films, the possibilities are endless.  However, just because CGI (or Computer Generated Imagery) can make something look real, doesn’t mean it has to.  For your enjoyment, I’ve listed some examples of why some cartoons shouldn’t be turned into live-action movies.

1. Animal Cruelty

With so much of the cartoon violence that once dominated the cartoon landscape being banned and censored, certain questions arise.  What expectations would we have if characters like Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck were transformed into realistic animals through the use of CGI? Would they be able to engage in the same old gags they used to? Would there be room for ACME explosives and anvils being dropped?

Chances are that animal rights activists such as PETA would start protesting, and do everything in their power to prevent such a film from being made.  There would be no anvils dropping or dynamite exploding in these more politically correct times.

However, if such a film were to be created, the negatives have their upside as well.

2.  Anthropomorphism

Many of you will now ask, WTF does anthropomorphism mean?  According to Wikipedia it refers to “the attribution of uniquely human characteristics to non-human creatures and beings, natural and supernatural phenomena, material states and objects or abstract concepts.” If you need further clarification, its when you make things appear to interact like people, but aren’t really people.  While most of Disney’s classical characters (Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Bambi, etc) fall into this category, so do inanimate objects like Spongebob Squarepants and the Aqua Teen Hunger Force.  Are people going to believe a talking box of fries is interacting with Dennis Franz?  Are people gonna believe a sea sponge lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don’t think so.

3. Hentai

In western culture, hentai refers to comics or animation whose content consists of  sexually explicit or pornographic imagery. So then you ask, what’s wrong with live-action porn?

The problem isn’t so much with porn, but with the subject matter at hand.  A great deal of hentai material is based on different fetishes, ranging from incest and beastiality to lolicon (the depiction of pre-adolescent girls) and tentacle rape.  Most of this type of content is considered illegal within the borders of North America. And besides the moral and legal reasons, who would want to see a live woman giving sexual pleasure to some alien tentacle monster?

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Are there any other reasons that we forgot to include?  Would Dennis Franz be able to talk to a box of fries without eating them?  What kind of people want to watch tentacle sex?  Leave a comment.