If humankind was judged solely based on the behavior of these notable celebrities, we’d be in deep trouble.   If you don’t believe me, then take a look at the five examples below through an extra-terrestrials eyes.

1. Humans Are Shape-Shifters.

While the idea sounds like something out of a Star Trek episode, the idea of changing one’s form is all part of showbiz.  Hollywood’s love affair with plastic surgery is always a hot topic. whether its Tori Spelling’s nose,  Donatella Versace’s lips, or Michael Jackson’s…what would you call it….genetic remix. Take a look at the gloved one 30 years ago, and then again before his recent death, and tell me he hasn’t shifted a few shapes.

2. Earth Lost Its Gravity

Thanks in part to the extraordinary amount of celebrity boobjobs, top heavy celebrities make it appear as if there is no force pulling their massive mammaries down.  Stick Pamela Anderson on the moon, and see if there is any difference.  No noticeable difference.

3. All Breeding Must Be Documented

The wave of celebrity sex tapes that has seen the light of day is reaching epidemic proportions.  Paris Hilton is reportedly now starring in her third, while numerous other members of Hollywood’s finest have been recording and leaking their most intimate moments.  Some have been intriguing (Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian) and others more on the disturbing side (Verne “Mini Me” Troyer”). If you were to turn on the television and hear about the release of another sex tape, wouldn’t you start to wonder?

4 Humans are self destructive

Which celebrity is currently in rehab for alcohol/drug/sex addiction?  Which have had encountered problems with an eating disorder?  Which had contemplated suicide?  The list is a who’s-who of famous train wrecks.  Whether you last name is Biden, Lohan, Lowe, Osbourne or Richie, the media has been there the document the dirty dteails.  Don’t even get me started on Amy Winehouse.

5. Earth Has Already Been Infiltrated By Alien Lifeforms

Yes.  Aliens from another planet have already infiltrated Hollywood, and the good people of Earth are too stupid to notice.  I’m not talking about John Travolta or Tom Cruise (who have been trying to tell the public this for years).  But if you take a close eye out there sometime, you may realize that some of those movie stars are not quite human.

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Any other observations and alien might make?  Should we all start recording our mating rituals with Paris Hilton?  Does Lyle Lovett know that we know?  Leave a comment.

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Is there someone else who may need to be outed?  Any other actors who could transition to porn without too much problem?  Does Zac Efron look pleased with what he sees?  Leave a comment.

]]> http://extremelyfunny.info/from-disney-to-gay-porn/feed/ http://extremelyfunny.info/movie-sequels-id-like-to-see/ http://extremelyfunny.info/movie-sequels-id-like-to-see/#comments Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:10:43 +0000 Jinksy http://extremelyfunny.info/?p=842 Hollywood sometimes has a tendency to try and reproduce the same formula over and over again when a successful movie is made.  This can mean picking up a second film, creating a trilogy or in some cases producing a whole slew of direct-to-DVD films based on a once successful movie franchise.

There are occasionally movies that get written that never see the light of day as the original actors or production team don’t feel it makes the grade.  Here are three examples of films that should produce a sequel and what needs to be done to make it work.

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Mrs. Doubtfire

Apparently, Robin Williams had been convinced to do a sequel in 2003 for his comical hit.  However, as he did not agree on the script, it got scrapped.

Enter Kevin Bacon. Playing workaholic Michael Hillard (the younger brother of Williams’ Daniel Hillard) discovers that his wife Candice (played by Jessica Biel) is bored and looking for someone else.  Daniel sees an online posting from Candice looking for a mature lesbian lover.  Enter Mrs. Doubtfire.

The 40 Year Old Virgin

While no word of a sequel has been previously made, the original film grossed over $170 million and was a critical hit.  As Steve Carell is currently busy with multiple project (the Office TV series and multiple film roles) his reprisal would be unlikely.  The new film should be more along the lines of a remake than a sequel, and cast an actor who the audience would find both believable and interesting in the starring role.

Brokeback Mountain

Simply put, with proper casting this film could easily gross over a billion dollars.

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Do you have a similar movie pitch?  Do you know any 40 year old virgins?  How much would you pay to see a love seen between Angelina and Jennifer?  Leave a comment.

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The superior race is now here.  Feel free to flame away in the comments section, as your inferiority will be evident by the pinja’s sheer awesomeness.

Being a child who grew up in the seventies and eighties, I pretty much had free reign and often wondered what I’d tell my grandchildren of my hardships.  Now in my mid-thirties, I can now see how hard I had it compared to kids today.

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Calling Home For a Ride

When I was a kid and I wanted my mom to pick me up from a dance or the movie theater, I had to use what was referred to as a “pay phone”.  I couldn’t e-mail her or send her a text message.  I had to insert money in a slot and insert my finger in a spinning device to indicate the phone number I wished to call.  This spinning device was rather tricky and often my money was spent on calling other people accidentally.  As hundreds of kids like myself needed to use the two or three payphones that were available, you usually had to wait a few hours to use one.  As we didn’t have conveniences such as call waiting or voice mail, we would often wait outside for hours or days hoping that our parents would be there to pick us up.

Homework

As neither Google or the Internet was invented yet, when projects were assigned at school we actually had to do our homework.  In order to find the necessary information, we would often refer to a group of large books known as encyclopedias (not to be confused with wikipedia).  These books were categorized alphabetically, and you would need to flip through its many pages to find the information required.  Often, if information was not available in the “encylopedia“, you would need to go to a building known as a “library” to locate books with the information you required.  This was a very exhausting process.

Video Games

When I was a kid, we didn’t have Gameboys or PSPs. The idea of having video games with you wherever you went simply did not exist.  Often the video game systems we had were attached to the one and only television in the house.  As the time between 6 and 7pm was reserved for watching the news, we could not play video games.  This really sucked.

Boppin’ your Bologna

As Internet porn (and to some degree, the Internet) was not yet invented, finding a source to help you with jerkin’ your gerkin was a bit tricky.  If you had an older brother or cousin, you might have been able to get your hands on some “skin rags”: magazines with naked women.  If you were not so fortunate, you had to be resourceful.

National Geographic magazine would sometimes include pictures of semi-naked African women.  The Simpson Sears (or now simply known as Sears) catalog often featured a section of women in lingerie or wearing bras and/or panties.  While considered suitable enough for many, some images did prove traumatizing as often these pictures were cropped so as to not show the female’s face.  Many young boys would find themselves in tears as they choked the chicken to what they assumed was a decapitated woman.  Masturbation was a much more confusing process when I was a kid.

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Were you a product of the 70s or 80s?  Do you have a story of hardship you wish to share?  Did you ever acidentally grab a copy of Field & Stream instead of National Geographic?  Leave a comment.

For anyone not familiar with social networking sites like MySpace or Facebook, these sites allow you the ability to share your thoughts with not just your family and friends, but the entire world.  However, sometimes when people don’t sort or organize their pictures properly (place them in separate photo albums, for example), the images displayed can send mixed messages to their intended audience.  Here are some examples of strange picture pairings that we uncovered on MySpace, and what we think it means.

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Example 1

Synopsis: The picture on the left shows a well endowed woman’s breasts getting felt up. The picture on the right shows an elderly woman eating in front of a small child.

Conclusion: Apparently, this woman is just as proud of her tits, as she is of her granny.  However, based on the two comments to none ratio, it appears that more people are interested in her gazongas than in her grandmother.

Example 2

Synopsis: The picture on the left show the subject exposing her bra and panties to the camera.  The picture on the right shows the subject with a dog and a cow.

Conclusion: As we are not 100% certain if she had actually started removing her clothes after posing  with her animals or before, we are uncertain if she is a zooaphile or just a horny farmers daughter.  Either way, someone (or something) is going to get lucky.

Example 3

Synopsis: The picture on the left shows the subject kissing another girl while drunk.  The picture on the right shows the subject kissing her boyfriend when sober (apparently).

Conclusion: The subject may have purposely posted the second picture as a response to the first.  However, she still appears to be enjoying the kiss with her female friend a little more.

Example 4

Synopsis: The picture on the left shows the subject wearing a pair of assless chaps.  The picture on the right shows the subject’s parents.

Conclusion: Genetics is still a mystery.

Example 5

Synopsis: The picture on the left show the subject’s brother.  The picture on the right shows the subject wearing a pair of lacy panties.

Conclusion: Apparently, what they say about West Virginia is true.

Example 6

Synopsis: The picture on the left show the subject hugging her male friend.  The picture on the right shows the subject engaging in what appears to be oral sex.

Conclusion: We’ll go for what’s behind door number two.

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Do you have inappropriate pictures posted on MySpace or Facebook?  Do you prefer big orbs over old bitties? Has the world seen you get a hummer? Please leave a comment.

Try and pick the correct answer among the five shown.  I hope you enjoy, (sorry for the lack of clever names) “Wax Mannequin or Real Woman”

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Were you able to tell the difference between flesh and flesh tone? Could you tell the difference between the fake breasts and the ones made from wax?  Do you have  agame idea that you’d like us to try?  Leave a comment.