Extremely Funny

There is a very good reason why the haven of the entertainment world is sometimes referred to as “Hollyweird”. Shows like Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood focus on providing up-to-date information about our favorite celebrities. And while some of the celebrities’ humanitarian efforts are featured, other segments deal with the latest dirt on our most beloved stars.

If humankind was judged solely based on the behavior of these notable celebrities, we’d be in deep trouble.   If you don’t believe me, then take a look at the five examples below through an extra-terrestrials eyes.

1. Humans Are Shape-Shifters.

While the idea sounds like something out of a Star Trek episode, the idea of changing one’s form is all part of showbiz.  Hollywood’s love affair with plastic surgery is always a hot topic. whether its Tori Spelling’s nose,  Donatella Versace’s lips, or Michael Jackson’s…what would you call it….genetic remix. Take a look at the gloved one 30 years ago, and then again before his recent death, and tell me he hasn’t shifted a few shapes.

2. Earth Lost Its Gravity

Thanks in part to the extraordinary amount of celebrity boobjobs, top heavy celebrities make it appear as if there is no force pulling their massive mammaries down.  Stick Pamela Anderson on the moon, and see if there is any difference.  No noticeable difference.

3. All Breeding Must Be Documented

The wave of celebrity sex tapes that has seen the light of day is reaching epidemic proportions.  Paris Hilton is reportedly now starring in her third, while numerous other members of Hollywood’s finest have been recording and leaking their most intimate moments.  Some have been intriguing (Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian) and others more on the disturbing side (Verne “Mini Me” Troyer”). If you were to turn on the television and hear about the release of another sex tape, wouldn’t you start to wonder?

4 Humans are self destructive

Which celebrity is currently in rehab for alcohol/drug/sex addiction?  Which have had encountered problems with an eating disorder?  Which had contemplated suicide?  The list is a who’s-who of famous train wrecks.  Whether you last name is Biden, Lohan, Lowe, Osbourne or Richie, the media has been there the document the dirty dteails.  Don’t even get me started on Amy Winehouse.

5. Earth Has Already Been Infiltrated By Alien Lifeforms

Yes.  Aliens from another planet have already infiltrated Hollywood, and the good people of Earth are too stupid to notice.  I’m not talking about John Travolta or Tom Cruise (who have been trying to tell the public this for years).  But if you take a close eye out there sometime, you may realize that some of those movie stars are not quite human.

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Any other observations and alien might make?  Should we all start recording our mating rituals with Paris Hilton?  Does Lyle Lovett know that we know?  Leave a comment.