Extremely Funny

I remember listening to stories from my grandparents (and some of my friend’s grandparents) about how hard it was being a kid in their time.  Walking five miles barefoot in the snow to get to school.  Working the coalmines at the age of eight to help feed their sixteen brothers and sisters.  Killing off Nazis at the age of twelve.  They seemed to have a pretty tough life.

Being a child who grew up in the seventies and eighties, I pretty much had free reign and often wondered what I’d tell my grandchildren of my hardships.  Now in my mid-thirties, I can now see how hard I had it compared to kids today.

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Calling Home For a Ride

When I was a kid and I wanted my mom to pick me up from a dance or the movie theater, I had to use what was referred to as a “pay phone”.  I couldn’t e-mail her or send her a text message.  I had to insert money in a slot and insert my finger in a spinning device to indicate the phone number I wished to call.  This spinning device was rather tricky and often my money was spent on calling other people accidentally.  As hundreds of kids like myself needed to use the two or three payphones that were available, you usually had to wait a few hours to use one.  As we didn’t have conveniences such as call waiting or voice mail, we would often wait outside for hours or days hoping that our parents would be there to pick us up.

Homework

As neither Google or the Internet was invented yet, when projects were assigned at school we actually had to do our homework.  In order to find the necessary information, we would often refer to a group of large books known as encyclopedias (not to be confused with wikipedia).  These books were categorized alphabetically, and you would need to flip through its many pages to find the information required.  Often, if information was not available in the “encylopedia“, you would need to go to a building known as a “library” to locate books with the information you required.  This was a very exhausting process.

Video Games

When I was a kid, we didn’t have Gameboys or PSPs. The idea of having video games with you wherever you went simply did not exist.  Often the video game systems we had were attached to the one and only television in the house.  As the time between 6 and 7pm was reserved for watching the news, we could not play video games.  This really sucked.

Boppin’ your Bologna

As Internet porn (and to some degree, the Internet) was not yet invented, finding a source to help you with jerkin’ your gerkin was a bit tricky.  If you had an older brother or cousin, you might have been able to get your hands on some “skin rags”: magazines with naked women.  If you were not so fortunate, you had to be resourceful.

National Geographic magazine would sometimes include pictures of semi-naked African women.  The Simpson Sears (or now simply known as Sears) catalog often featured a section of women in lingerie or wearing bras and/or panties.  While considered suitable enough for many, some images did prove traumatizing as often these pictures were cropped so as to not show the female’s face.  Many young boys would find themselves in tears as they choked the chicken to what they assumed was a decapitated woman.  Masturbation was a much more confusing process when I was a kid.

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Were you a product of the 70s or 80s?  Do you have a story of hardship you wish to share?  Did you ever acidentally grab a copy of Field & Stream instead of National Geographic?  Leave a comment.