Extremely Funny

For children who grew up in the 1980s, the Care Bears represented joy and happiness. These simple plush toys had the ability to put a smile on the face of almost any child.

A quarter of a century later, many of these once delightful young girls are now women who suffer from depression and have mood swings. The men in their lives, live in fear, unsure of what horrors they might face.  And should they say something, they fear that their fate might be worse.

As a tool to help men deal with women who are dealing with PMS, I present to you: The PMS Bears.

Each bear represents a different emotion, and should be offered to said woman when the need arises.  The first set includes 5 different bears.
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1. Emotional Overload Bear

When the subject appears to be very sad or very angry, they need to understand you care, but they also need to know that they are going a little over-the-top.   Emotional Overload Bear suggests compassion, but also says “You had a nice cry, and I wish you I could make things better.  Now, what’s for dinner?”

2.  Need a Drink Bear

If the subject appears tense, the cuddly Need a Drink Bear offers a pleasant solution.  Perhaps an evening out with a couple of drinks to ease the pain, or a night at home relaxing over a few cold ones.  The slightly tipsy look on this plush toy should help push the message.  At the very least it could also suggest “I can’t take your whining.  I’m going out to get wrecked.”

3.  Take a Pill Bear

If the subject is extremely tense and extremely moody, then this little guy lets her know everything will be okay.  Have her take a couple happy pills, and you are set.  If that doesn’t help, offer a combination of Take a Pill Bear and Need a Drink Bear repeatedly, as needed.  If the combination of the two bears goes out of hand, 911 is just a phone call away.

4.  Happier As a Lesbian Bear

If the sight of you seems to repulse her, the Happier As a Lesbian Bear provides the
subject with the opportunity to consider her other options.  Worst case, the miserable one leaves the room in a huff.  Best case, she comes back with a friend.

5.  Just Shoot Me Now Bear

If nothing else, the police would never suspect the bear.

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Do you have a  loved one in need of a PMS Bear? Do you have ideas for future editions?  Are you wondering what the bear did with the body?  Leave a  comment.