Extremely Funny

How To Get Stalked On MySpace

January 14th, 2009 1 Comment   Posted in Distorted Viewpoint, Funny Pictures, Social Misfits

[Editorial Note:  Online predators and cyber-stalking are very serious topics.  These are topics that, unfortuantely, has had an impact on my family recently.  It is our hope that we can educate and entertain others with the use of humor, about these matters.  This post discusses the general lack of common sense that some people have when it comes to posting personal information online (as it relates specifically to social networking web sites like MySpace).  We do not endorse stalking or harassing anyone online or offline.  Should you come across a loved one who is posting this type of information, smack them upside the head.]
[Editorial Note #2: We do not endorse violence either.]

Are you lonely?  Are you trying to find Mr or Ms. Right? Does the bar scene just not cut it anymore?  Well, you can say goodbye to loneliness and hello to happiness, thanks in part to social networking site like MySpace and Facebook.  With such a large community of people, you are bound to meet and make new friends who share similar interests with you.  So what do you need to find that someone special, and catch their attention?  Just follow our simple to follow six-step plan.

Step 1: Tell Us A Little Something About Yourself.

Are you a gaming afficianado?  Do you enjoy going to plays?  Perhaps, you prefer a nice cuddle on the couch, and watching a romantic movie.  Its good to let others know a  little something about yourself, or at the very least, let them know what’s on your mind.  Maybe someone might share of your interests, or at the very least in the same mood as you.

Step 2: Get Close and Personal
Beauty may only be skin deep, however when checking out new people online, you can’t help but be a little superficial.  Because of this, most people focus on showing their best physical assets.  If you have nice eyes, don’t hesitate from posting a closeup picture of your peepers.  If people tell you that you have a nice smile, post a nice shot of your pearly whites.  Whatever you think might be your best asset, feel free to display it for others to see.

A word of warning, all of your friends and family will be seeing these pictures, as well.  So try to remember to leave yourself with a little dignity.  Otherwise, the pictures that your family might enjoy seeing, may end up being shown right next to the ones that really would rather not see.

Step 3: Location, Location, Location
While posed portraits, and body shots are nice, people enjoy seeing pictures of other people enjoying themselves.  Its not uncommon see pictures posted from a recent vacation, a weekend out of town with the girls, or even events like concerts or weddings.  Its fun to see people interacting in various social settings. However, you may want to avoid posting pictures in front of your work or favorite bar, as people who you’d rather avoid, will be able to find you in places where you spend a lot of your time.

Step 4: Show Off Your Skillz

As is with the outside world, there are tons of people to look at online, and you should make yourself stand out.  A lot of people post pictures of themselves at their very best.  Do you play guitar?  Maybe post a picture of yourself playing at the local bar.  Do you dance?  You can post photos from your recitals or competitions, and share your passion with others.  No matter what you are good at, it helps others get a glimpse at you, and the things that you like to do.

5. Feel Free To Safely Interact
The nice thing about social websites is the social aspects.  Post a comment on someone’s profile, or if you like someone send that someone a private message.  If things get awkward or uncomfortable, you don’t need to worry about anything.  You can simply block them from contacting you.  Its not like they have your e-mail address.

6. A Good Sense of Humour
People enjoy a good sense of humour.  And showing yourself in funny and awkward situations will show that you don’t mind be being the butt of a joke. Maybe,  its getting arrested by the 6-year-old police officer on Halloween.  Maybe you’ve went back in time, and find yourself shackled in town square.  Perhaps, you find yourself completely buried in the sand, and only your head is showing.  Showing a fun and playful side will win you over more new friends and possible relationships then just posting the same old boring pictures.

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Have you been witness to someone posting something inappropriate on their FaceBook?  Has someone shown you a little more of themselves than you are comfortable with on MySpace?  Leave a comment.

Tips For Seducing Your Cousin

October 21st, 2008 2 Comments   Posted in Distorted Viewpoint, Funny Pictures, Photoshop Phun, Pop Culture, Social Misfits

While a lot women found our article on seducing rednecks helpful, a lot of our male readers felt slighted. The question had arisen, but no answer was ever given. “So. what about my cousin? What if I want to try and pick up my cousin? What if I would like to make sweet love to my cousin?”

And in fact, I had neglected to provide any advice for the cousin-lovin’ populous out there. And I am going to correct that error.

Other folk might ask: why your cousin? Why would you want to even try anything with someone related to you? Well, sometimes its a matter of geographics, sometimes its pure laziness, and sometimes they just look really hot.

So for the three of you who had waiting, as well as the four or five of you that just found us through Google, I offer these five simple steps on seducing your cousin.

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Tips For Seducing Rednecks

July 9th, 2008 7 Comments   Posted in Distorted Viewpoint, Funny Pictures, Photoshop Phun, Pop Culture, Social Misfits

As a service to our two female readers, I decided it was only right to provide some content geared to them. And what is a popular topic amongst our female readership…..dating. So I thought it only fitting that I provide some dating advice. However, as most of the guys I know are pretty low-brow, the best advice I can provide is a bit on the frightening side. So without further ado, here are three easy tips to keep in mind when trying to attract the opposite sex… well as long as his name is Billy-Bob or Bubba.

Tip #1: Present him with something enticing

Men are simple creatures. We like simple things like meat, sports, large breasts, beer and explosions. Pick two of these things and present it to us. You will find most subjects rather receptive to discussions about tailgate parties, beer-can bikinis, or NASCAR.

Tip #2: Set The Mood

After luring the redneck male back to your place, you can’t simply offer them sex. You have to set the mood for the evening. Put on a nice Lynyrd Skynyrd 8-track or Billy Ray Cyrus cassette. That’s really sexy. Turn off the lights, and turn on the TV. If you don’t own any actual porn, don’t be discouraged. Flip the channels until you find a Monster Truck Rally. That will be considered a suitable replacement.

Tip #3: Make Him Feel Comfortable

Once you have enticed the redneck male to the bedroom, the subject may start to feel uncomfortable. If you have all your own teeth, or don’t say things like “din you git sum”, he may not feel attractive enough. You can ease his discomfort by engaging in things like roleplay. You can act out his fantasy of “that purdy cousin from da city”, or whatever else comes to mind. The important thing is to not be judgmental of his requests, and you’ll be fine.

I hope you have found this advice useful. If you want to learn more about the redneck, or simply want to take a look at some successful shotgun weddings, feel free to click here.