Posts Tagged ‘drunk’
Tips For Seducing Your Cousin
While a lot women found our article on seducing rednecks helpful, a lot of our male readers felt slighted. The question had arisen, but no answer was ever given. “So. what about my cousin? What if I want to try and pick up my cousin? What if I would like to make sweet love to my cousin?”
And in fact, I had neglected to provide any advice for the cousin-lovin’ populous out there. And I am going to correct that error.
Other folk might ask: why your cousin? Why would you want to even try anything with someone related to you? Well, sometimes its a matter of geographics, sometimes its pure laziness, and sometimes they just look really hot.
So for the three of you who had waiting, as well as the four or five of you that just found us through Google, I offer these five simple steps on seducing your cousin.
Tags: advice, cousins, dating, drunk, funny, funny photo, funny photos, funny picture, funny pictures, girls, humor, humour, photos, photoshop, redneck, satire, spoof
The Drunk Test
I might consider this to be more like an interactive Public Service Announcement than actually a game, but you can be judge of that.
—
Do you know your limit? How much is too much? Would you tell your buddies? Leave a comment.
Tips For Seducing Rednecks
As a service to our two female readers, I decided it was only right to provide some content geared to them. And what is a popular topic amongst our female readership…..dating. So I thought it only fitting that I provide some dating advice. However, as most of the guys I know are pretty low-brow, the best advice I can provide is a bit on the frightening side. So without further ado, here are three easy tips to keep in mind when trying to attract the opposite sex… well as long as his name is Billy-Bob or Bubba.
Tip #1: Present him with something enticing
Men are simple creatures. We like simple things like meat, sports, large breasts, beer and explosions. Pick two of these things and present it to us. You will find most subjects rather receptive to discussions about tailgate parties, beer-can bikinis, or NASCAR.

Tip #2: Set The Mood
After luring the redneck male back to your place, you can’t simply offer them sex. You have to set the mood for the evening. Put on a nice Lynyrd Skynyrd 8-track or Billy Ray Cyrus cassette. That’s really sexy. Turn off the lights, and turn on the TV. If you don’t own any actual porn, don’t be discouraged. Flip the channels until you find a Monster Truck Rally. That will be considered a suitable replacement.

Tip #3: Make Him Feel Comfortable
Once you have enticed the redneck male to the bedroom, the subject may start to feel uncomfortable. If you have all your own teeth, or don’t say things like “din you git sum”, he may not feel attractive enough. You can ease his discomfort by engaging in things like roleplay. You can act out his fantasy of “that purdy cousin from da city”, or whatever else comes to mind. The important thing is to not be judgmental of his requests, and you’ll be fine.

I hope you have found this advice useful. If you want to learn more about the redneck, or simply want to take a look at some successful shotgun weddings, feel free to click here.
Tags: advice, animals, beer, dating, drunk, funny, funny photo, funny photos, funny picture, funny pictures, girls, humor, humour, photos, photoshop, redneck, satire, spoof
Paris Hilton Found Drunk At Middle School

Not everyone can bring a famous person to their school’s Career Day, but Billy Marriott, 11, sure made waves when his guest arrived. The classroom at Radisson Middle School, in Culver City, CA was all abuzz when Billy introduced his infamous cousin, Paris Hilton. The always controversial Paris, was still noticeably intoxicated from her previous night’s debauchery, and apparently had not changed outfits from the night before. She was also brandishing two open bottles of Jack Daniels which she would occasionally take a drink from.
While most would have expected Ms. Hilton to talk about her modeling, acting or “singing” career, Paris proceeded to divulge graphic details about some “hottie” she was “shagging in the ladies’ room” the night before. Grade six teacher, Wendy Waldorf, 27, was appalled by Ms. Hilton’s inappropriate behavior, and had the school principal, Stephen Savoy, 31, escort the intoxicated celebutante out of the building.
According to reports, Ms. Hilton’s last known whereabouts was in the backseat of Mr. Savoy’s, 1994 Honda Civic. More details on this story as they arrive.
Tags: classroom, drunk, drunk girls, funny, funny photo, funny photos, funny picture, funny pictures, humor, humour, middle school, paris hilton, photos, photoshop, satire, spoof, tabloids
What Happened to My Rum & Coke?

Credit goes to wepetluv4u for this photo.
Feel free to add your own caption ideas in the comments section.
Tags: cat, drinking, drunk, drunk kitty, flickr, funny photos, funny pictures, humor, humour, kitty cat, pets, photos, social media


