Posts Tagged ‘paris hilton’
Who Forgot Paris Panties Day?
With a bevy of groundhogs seeing their shadow on Monday (including Punxsutawney Phil, Shubenacadie Sam, and Wiarton Willie), it appears as if another six weeks of Winter is unavoidable. However, many soothsayers slept on a more important story. While February 2nd is traditionally known as Groundhog’s Day, it also considered by many to be Paris Hilton’s Panties Day.
During this special occasion, paparazzi are known to congregate near Paris Hilton in order to predict what type of year we can expect. It is said that the shade of Ms. Hilton’s undies can help determine the direction that the mass media will take for the coming year. If her panties are light colored, the media outlets will focus more on issues like education and health care. If her panties are dark, the focus will go towards more provocative subject matter like celebrity sex tapes and rehab.
And the winner is……
NO PANTIES???!??
And yet another year of debauchery awaits us.
Latest Hollywood Trend : Ridiculously Large Implants And Porn
Some of Hollywood’s brightest stars are engaging in some exciting yet strange new developments. These young ladies are going under the knife and not simply engaging in minor cosmetic surgery, but instead opting for extremely over-the-top and enormous breast implants. The first of the starlets to undergo the surgery was Reese Witherspoon. The star of such films as Legally Blonde and Walk the Line. Reese became tired of adult film studios casting lookalikes when filming porn versions of Hollywood hits. She was also displeased by seeing others profit from both celebrities’ likenesses, as well as their personal sex tapes. Reese decided to take matters into her own hands. She created her own adult film company, “Raunchy Reese Films”. After undoing breast augmentation surgery, Ms. Witherspoon started to film and star in her own selection of adult-oriented films. Titles such as “Legally Boned”, “Erection” and “American Nympho” are expected rake in millions upon their release, in early 2009.
Having already seen her share of private moments hit both the Internet and adult-film-store shelves, Paris Hilton was the next to enroll in this new business venture. Having already purchased a smaller upgrade a short while ago, Paris decided to invest in a set of knockers that would make most bowling balls envious. She decided to take Reese’s example and run with it. However, as she felt her previous work (One Night In Paris, etc) had been so successful, she decided to follow the same format (handheld camera, no extra lighting) as her previous successes. Expected for release in March of 2009, “One Knight In Paris”, “Paris Does Pasadena“ and “An Evening Inside a Hilton” should prove profitable for the heiress.
Not to be outdone, both Sarah Michelle Gellar and one of the Olsen Twins (we believe its Ashley, however leaked photos have her simply being billed as “The Olsen’s Twins”) have also had breast augmentation surgery recently, but speculation is still running rampant regarding their upcoming projects. Neither party will confirm or deny the filming of “Muffy The Vampire Layer” or “How The Breast Was Fun”.
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Which actress are most excited to see perform? Is there another actress you feel would be suited for porn? Leave a comment.
If Paris Hilton Was The Internet
Its seems the media gets a major-boner every time Paris Hilton does something. And I don’t mean her sex tapes, her drunk-driving or jail-time either. Paris has paparazzi and film crews follow her, and everything she does is presented as real news. It doesn’t matter if its her new documentary, her new reality show, her relationships, her latest shopping excursion, what she’s wearing or not wearing (panties mostly), and if she takes a dump, they’ll let you know how long it took and how big it was. If Paris Hilton blew her nose, it would be news.
Fortunately, the Internet has been wise to Paris and we haven’t been subjected to any major meme surrounding the Simple Life star. Well, there are the sex tapes, but that’s a completely different story.
So what would it be like if every popular Internet meme had been started about Paris Hilton? What if all Internet memes were about Paris Hilton? The results are kinda scary.
More »
Tags: banana phone, ceiling paris, funny, funny photo, funny photos, funny picture, funny pictures, humor, humour, lolcats, lolhiltons, meme, motivational, panties, paris hilton, photos, photoshop, posters, satire, spoof, tabloids
Personal Items Stolen From Paris Hilton
It seems every few days new stories about Paris Hilton appear in TMZ or other celebrity sites. They all mention pregnancy rumors, bar fights, updates on her relationships, her next TV project, and everything else under the sun. However, they all seem to touch on but never deal directly with one very important story. The situation we speak of has been brewing over the last couple years and appears to be getting worse and worse. It appears as if personal property is being taken away from Ms. Hilton, and she is having to deal with her loses in stride. No, it isn’t her jewelry or cars that go missing. Someone or someones are stealing Paris’ panties.
Pictures seem to be constantly surfacing, of poor Miss Paris having to attend various social events without any extra coverage. Numerous weblogs have posted pictures of Ms. Hilton leaving various stores after purchasing lingerie and other undergarments. Yet she continues to be seen in public without a single pair of gitch on.
What is the reason for this? Why is this happening to poor Paris?
It appears as if a small group from Colorado have been secretly sabotaging Paris’ collection of g-strings and thongs. The alleged perpetrators are not only stealing the underpants from under the celebutante, but other people’s panties as well.
A knickers-free terrorist group simply known as the “Underspants Gnomes” have been spotted in various parts of Colorado, most notablely South Park, but are still at large.
The reasons for their actions are still unknown at this time, but the staff here at Extremely Funny are doing their best to get in touch with the butt-floss loving group. Authorities in both Colorado and California are working together in an effort to provide aide to both Miss Hilton and the other victims.
In an effort to find the missing bikini bottoms and briefs, posters and flyers are being distributed to various retail outlets and pictures of the lost lingerie are being sent to both state and federal authorities. Should you have any knowledge on the whereabouts of the diva’s delicates or other people’s undies, a toll-free number has been setup to allow anonymous tips to be provided. If you have any information pertaining to Ms. Hilton’s heinie-coverings, please call 1-888-NO-PANTY.
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If you feel you efforts are better used for other things, please consider voting for this post at humor-blogs.com. While your vote will not help victims like Paris, it will help provide other celebrities like Tara Reid with better wardrobe choices in an effort to stop unnecessary nipple-slips.
Tags: funny, funny photo, funny photos, funny picture, funny pictures, humor, humour, panties, paris hilton, photos, photoshop, satire, south park, spoof, tabloids
Future Celebrity Careers
Many celebrities work odd jobs before making their big break. Actors who earn millions for a film role, or singers who have sold millions of albums, have worked in kitchens, warehouses and sewers to earn a few bucks. And once the fame and fortune is gone, many resort back to more menial work in order to make ends meet. Here are a few predictions for future employment opportunities for three celebrities.
Paris Hilton as a Dominatrix
Britney Spears as a Hooters Girl
Mariah Carey as a Stripper
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Interested in career opportunities as a porn star for the blind, then click here for details.
