Posts Tagged ‘pron’
An Open Letter To Google Users
Dear Google User,
You have probably come across this site, because you are a socially awkward and emotionally unstable pervert. Now, please don’t take offense, as many of my closest friends fall under this category. How do I know this about you? Let’s just say when I go through my log files, I see some very strange entries.
When you searched for “women as meat“, you found women and meat, but you didn’t find any women being mistaken for food (you must have some weird cannibal fantasy).
When you searched for “nice funbags” and “sweater stretchers”, you found that we enhanced the former Destiny Child member’s milk factories, however you didn’t find anything obscenely graphic (as much as you hoped you would).
When you searched for “lindsay lohan sex tape” but instead found a satirical look at celebrity sex tapes, I actually felt kinda bad. But when I saw you searched for “emmanuel lewis sex tape”, I threw-up in my mouth a little.
When you searched for “how dogs mate”, I felt like contacting the authorities about your disgusting animal fetish (but I didn’t).
And finally when you searched for “funny whores”, you got a glimpse at a couple posts about Eliot Spitzer’s extra-marital activities. And what happens to me? I’m left in wonderment about the possibility of some female stand-up comic who had to take on the oldest known profession to pay the bills. Maybe you should try doing a search on “Sarah Silverman”.
Anyway, I look forward to your next misguided search, and hope you enjoy your stay, you retarded degenerate.
What If Porn Stars Were Treated Like Pro Athletes?
It may sound like an odd statement, but pro athletes and adult entertainers do share quite a bit in common. Both need to maintain excellent shape (well maybe not Ron Jeremy), and be ready to bring their A-game, day-in day-out.
So why don’t we celebrate the athletic ability of Jenna Jameson, the way we do to a Kobe Bryant or a Derek Jeter?
Other than the fact that we may not be so eager to let our younger family members get their hands on their films and/or pictures, there is no reason why we cannot embrace the adult industry in the same manner we do a member of the LA Lakers .
Maybe one day, you may find yourself sitting with a buddy of yours and find yourself saying “I’ll trade you a two Ron Jeremys for a John Holmes“.
Maybe we might see the day that a picture of porn starlet graces a box of Wheaties.
Only time will tell.
