Posts Tagged ‘slurpees’
Ten Alternatives For The Word Slut
Human nature suggests that we should be able to communicate with one another, without letting others in on what’s being discussed. This is the very reason we have Pig Latin and Cockney Rhyming Slang.
However, rather than devising a whole new language, I prefer the use of “code”. Using a few terms that the rest of my buddies know, we can communicate without fear of repercussions.
For example, we can make plans to go the strip club by suggesting that we can have a guys’ night at “the casino”. We can suggest that we think that someone seems slow on the draw by suggesting that “they like cake”.
So, for those of you who wish to tell someone else that you think the girl across the bar is a slut, here are ten terms (in alphabetical order) you can use, without fear of getting a smack.
1. Bag of Chips
Ever been to a party where a bag of chips gets passes around , so that everyone gets some? Same thing applies to a slutty girl. She gets passed around, and everyone gets some.
2. Cactus Cat
Women on the prowl are often referred to as “cougars” or “lynx”. The “cactus cat” on the other hand is a legendary bobcat discussed in folklore. And it just so happens to be the only feline to ever be brandished with horns. A horny cougar, you say?
3. Geico
A reference to the car insurance slogan: “So easy a caveman could do her…I mean it.”
4. John Lee
A reference to the famous blues singer/guitarist. Last name? Hooker.
5. Junk Collector
Considering how as men we have been known to refer to our genitalia as “junk”, this term requires little explanation.
6. Meatsock
A woman who has slept with so many men, she would be extremely loose. The feeling would be similar to placing your junk into a sock made out of meat.
7. Moscowcycle
A play on the old “village bike” or “community bike” joke. Everyone gets a ride.
8. Poultry Aficionado
Because, as you know, she loves c*ck.
9. Sealy Inspector
A reference to a brand of mattress. “She’s seen enough them, she could get a job inspecting them.”
10. Seven-Eleven
As in the old joke: “She’s like a 7-Eleven. She’s open 24 hours a day, and for a couple bucks, you can get a ‘Slurpee’.”
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Have you ever come across a woman who would feel comfortable calling a Cactus Cat? Have you ever shared a Bag Of Chips at a party? Leave a comment.
Late Night Slurpees & Hot Dogs
I have often felt bad for the poor schmoes who have had work the midnight shift at the local 7-Eleven dealing with the late night crowds. Schlepping Slurpees to drunks and weirdos during the wee hours of the morning for minimum wage certainly can’t be that gratifying.
Yet this is a key demographic that 7-Eleven is catering to. And obviously something they should push in their advertising. So, here is my latest installment of Marketing Genius.
Image: My 7-Eleven Ad
Tags: 7-11, 7-Eleven, ad campaign, funny, funny photo, funny photos, funny picture, funny pictures, humor, humour, marketing, photos, photoshop, slurpees, snacks
