Extremely Funny

Human nature suggests that we should be able to communicate with one another, without letting others in on what’s being discussed.  This is the very reason we have  Pig Latin and Cockney Rhyming Slang.

However, rather than devising a whole new language,  I prefer the use of “code”.  Using a few terms that the rest of my buddies know, we can communicate without fear of repercussions.

For example, we can make plans to go the strip club by suggesting that we can have a guys’ night at “the casino”. We can suggest that we think that someone seems slow on the draw by suggesting that “they like cake”.

So, for those of you who wish to tell someone else that you think the girl across the bar is a slut, here are ten terms (in alphabetical order) you can use, without fear of getting a smack.

1. Bag of Chips

Ever been to a party where a bag of chips gets passes around , so that everyone gets some? Same thing applies to a slutty girl. She gets passed around, and everyone gets some.

2. Cactus Cat

Women on the prowl are often referred to as “cougars” or “lynx”.  The “cactus cat” on the other hand is a legendary bobcat discussed in folklore.  And it just so happens to be the only feline to ever be brandished with horns.  A horny cougar, you say?

3. Geico

A reference to the car insurance slogan: “So easy a caveman could do her…I mean it.”

4. John Lee

A reference to the famous blues singer/guitarist.  Last name?  Hooker.

5. Junk Collector

Considering how as men we have been known to refer to our genitalia as “junk”, this term requires little explanation.

6. Meatsock

A woman who has slept with so many men, she would be extremely loose.   The feeling would be similar to placing your junk into a sock made out of meat.

7.  Moscowcycle

A play on the old “village bike” or “community bike” joke.  Everyone gets a ride.

8. Poultry Aficionado

Because, as you know, she loves c*ck.

9. Sealy Inspector

A reference to a brand of mattress.  “She’s seen enough them, she could get a job inspecting them.”

10. Seven-Eleven

As in the old joke: “She’s like a 7-Eleven.  She’s open 24 hours a day, and for a couple bucks, you can get a ‘Slurpee’.”

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Have you ever come across a woman who would feel comfortable calling a Cactus Cat?  Have you ever shared a Bag Of Chips at a party?  Leave a comment.