Extremely Funny

Former Republican Vice Presidential candidate and America’s favorite MILF (and now GILF), Sarah Palin, has been keeping herself out of the spotlight over the last few months.  However, the Alaskan governor is now ready to launch her newest campaign and help educate America’s youth about a topic that is near and dear to her: abstinence.  After the media backlash she received when it had been revealed that her own teenage daughter had been expecting a child, the former beauty queen is now ensuring that both the media and America’s youth will have answers regarding her Abstinence only mandate.

The GILF governor has started touring and educating American youth on her  three-point Abstinence program (the same one that apparently caused Bristol a great deal of confusion).  The outline given to both students as well as the media is as follows:

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Point One:  Keep Your Clothes On

“While we are born without clothes, your nakedness is still a sin.  And an unmarried couple engaging in a marital act while naked is even a greater sin.  However, if you were to engage in marital acts while you are both clothed, you are considered sin-free.”

Point Two:  Use Your Head

“Condoms cannot prevent pregnancy or disease.  Abstinence can.  Its just common sense.  Just use your head, or if you prefer, your mouth.”

Point Three:  The Other Vagina

“While a man’s pee-pee should never enter a woman’s hoo-hoo until after marriage, there are parts of a woman’s body that are close to the hoo-hoo that can simulate and stimulate in a similar fashion.  A man’s pee-pee and a woman’s poo-poo is considered acceptable as an Abstinence friendly option.”

I guess Bristol must’ve got her hoo-hoo and poo-poo confused.
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Do you have any additional tips on abstinence?  Do you agree with Sarah’s mandate?  Do you know the difference between a hoo-hoo and a poo-poo?  Leave a comment.