Extremely Funny

As a service to our two female readers, I decided it was only right to provide some content geared to them. And what is a popular topic amongst our female readership…..dating. So I thought it only fitting that I provide some dating advice. However, as most of the guys I know are pretty low-brow, the best advice I can provide is a bit on the frightening side. So without further ado, here are three easy tips to keep in mind when trying to attract the opposite sex… well as long as his name is Billy-Bob or Bubba.

Tip #1: Present him with something enticing

Men are simple creatures. We like simple things like meat, sports, large breasts, beer and explosions. Pick two of these things and present it to us. You will find most subjects rather receptive to discussions about tailgate parties, beer-can bikinis, or NASCAR.

Tip #2: Set The Mood

After luring the redneck male back to your place, you can’t simply offer them sex. You have to set the mood for the evening. Put on a nice Lynyrd Skynyrd 8-track or Billy Ray Cyrus cassette. That’s really sexy. Turn off the lights, and turn on the TV. If you don’t own any actual porn, don’t be discouraged. Flip the channels until you find a Monster Truck Rally. That will be considered a suitable replacement.

Tip #3: Make Him Feel Comfortable

Once you have enticed the redneck male to the bedroom, the subject may start to feel uncomfortable. If you have all your own teeth, or don’t say things like “din you git sum”, he may not feel attractive enough. You can ease his discomfort by engaging in things like roleplay. You can act out his fantasy of “that purdy cousin from da city”, or whatever else comes to mind. The important thing is to not be judgmental of his requests, and you’ll be fine.

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I hope you have found this advice useful. If you want to learn more about the redneck, or simply want to take a look at some successful shotgun weddings, feel free to click here.